It was one of those meetings where the tension, the fear, and the anxiety were as present in the room as the pews, the light fixtures, and the wall hangings.  We were gathered in the sanctuary; worship was over and one hundred and fifty people shifted uncomfortably in their seats.  They had gotten their coffee, nibbled a few cookies, and come back to wait for the meeting to begin.

I opened us up with a theological reflection, calling each one of us to be our best selves, to speak and act and listen in love, and then turned the conversation to the church board.  Just a month earlier, at our Congregational Meeting, a church member had put forward a motion that our church, Bethel United Church of Christ, officially leave the UCC, because of its stance affirming marriage equality for gay and lesbian couples.  The vote was delayed, and a meeting called, to discuss this very issue.

I was the pastor at that church, a congregation in Manchester, Michigan, where the theological diversity was enormous, and the tension around LGBT affirmation was finally boiling over.  I had been open about my belief that God loves and affirms us all, regardless of sexual orientation, and some members of the congregation were breathing fire against me and all the others in the church who shared my perspective.  I was scared, we were all scared.  Angry, tense, frightened.

The conversation started off well; people spoke about their love of the United Church of Christ, and how important it was that we keep our denominational identity.  Others claimed that the UCC did not represent their views, their faith, their theology, and they no longer wanted to be associated with our denomination.  And then the conversation turned to LGBT issues more specifically, and we began to hear people making the “Love the sinner, hate the sin,” argument, claiming that the UCC needed to declare gay and lesbian relationships to be sinful, while also stating their love for LGBT people.  Of course, others stood up and said this was unacceptable, that God made us all – gay, straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender – and that God does not make mistakes.  The “love the sinner, hate the sin” position is alienating and arrogant, and inconsistent with a God who made us as we are, who gave us our sexual orientation and sexuality.

As the conversation continued, tears began to flow, voices began to rise, tension began to grow, and a young woman stood up.  Her name was Kate, and her voice trembled as she began, “I was born into this church.  I was baptized here.  I was confirmed here.  I know you all as my church family,” she paused and took a very deep breath.  “And many of you know that I am now a teacher in the high school; I have even taught some of your children.  But you probably don’t know that I live with my partner, Alice, and that we have bought a house together in Ann Arbor.  You probably don’t know that my mother and my father support us, and love us, as we are.  And I want my church to do the same.  You baptized me, you said you loved me.  And this conversation does not feel very loving to me right now.”  And then she sat back down, her mother put her arm around her, and they both let their tears flow freely.

Kate’s statement changed the conversation.  And the motion to leave the UCC did not pass.  As a matter of fact, three years later, a group of people from that very church, including its leadership, went to a workshop on how to become an Open and Affirming Church.  The tide began to change, and a congregation divided on LGBT issues began to move towards love, affirmation, and justice.  And I do believe that one of the reasons that this tide began to change, was because of Kate’s courage, as she stood in front of 150 people and called them to live up to the love that they had proclaimed for her, when she was just an infant.

Our scriptures speak of people like Kate, who are afraid, who are shaking, who are scared.  People who think they just can’t do it.  People who do it, anyways.

Peter was like that.  We watch him move from fear to courage, from failure to faith.  Back and forth, back and forth.  And the thing is: God uses Peter’s fear-flopping in order to do amazing things.  Because Peter is a man a great courage. 

We start out the scripture in a place of fear.  The disciples are out on a boat, and the storm is intense, and they are scared.  Their boat is batter by waves and wind, but this isn’t the scary part.  The terrifying moment is when they see Jesus, walking on the sea, and they cry out in horror, “It is a ghost!”  Now Jesus tries to calm them down, telling them not to be afraid, but the only one brave enough to respond is Peter.  And Peter says something that I find, well, quite strange.

Peter says, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water."  Don’t you find that strange? "Lord, if it is you, command me to risk my life, to tempt death, to walk out across 6,000 fathoms of dark, swirling, threatening sea."  Lord, if it is you, command me to stick my hand into the fire. Lord, if it is you, order me to jump off a skyscraper. That is, if it's you.

But Peter knows that following Jesus means doing those things that scare you.  And so, he wants to know – if it really is you, Jesus, you will ask me to step out on that water with you.

Peter goes from a frightened disciple on a boat to a courageous follower of Christ, and when Jesus says, “Come,” Peter gets right out of the boat, and steps onto the raging sea.  But then, his humanity catches up with him, he looks around at the wind and the waves and the howling storm, and he gets really, really scared.  And he begins to sink, and just before he falls below the water, he cries out for Jesus to save him.

Jesus reaches out his hand, catches Peter, and asks, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”  And then they get into the boat, and the wind calms down, and the disciples turn from fear to worship, proclaiming the Jesus is the son of God.

In a way, it seems as if the story ends with Peter’s failure.  After all, he did get frightened, he did begin to sink, and Jesus did declare that Peter only had “little faith.”  But when we hear these words in the context of Jesus’ other statements, we realize that Peter’s “little faith” was enough to move mountains, and certainly, because of Peter’s little faith, his little courage, he was able to move the disciples from terror to worship.

Earlier in Matthew, Jesus proclaims that faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains, and certainly here, as Jesus is saying that Peter has “little faith,” it is not an insult or a declaration of failure.  In fact, Peter’s little faith led him to step out onto the water, and that very event is what led the disciples to see Jesus’ power and to recognize him as the son of God.  If Peter had of stayed in the boat, the disciples would not have witnessed the power and presence of Christ.  And, even in the midst of his fear, he again demonstrated Jesus’ grace, as he began to fall, and called on Jesus to save him.

Peter moved out of the boat, despite his fear, and his “little faith” was more than enough.  Peter continues to be a fear-flopper throughout scripture; at times, he is courageous and bold, risking his life to follow Jesus.  At other times, he is terrified, and we know he denies Christ three times.  But in the end, Jesus declares that Peter is the rock upon whom he will build the church.  Because Peter steps out of the boat, despite his fear, because Peter is a fear-flopper, a man of “little faith,” but enough faith, to move forward.

Elijah also seems like a man of “little faith” in our scripture reading for today.  He is an altogether different man than the one we have met in previous chapters.  In the 18th chapter of I Kings, Elijah is a man full of faith and conviction, he demonstrates God’s faithfulness before all of Israel, and challenges the king and queen with courage and cunning.  Elijah risks his life to call Israel to faithfulness; he is a model of bravery.  And then, in the very next chapter, we see him full of self-doubt, despair, and terror.  In fact, he is even a little bit whiny and bitter, and he does not want to continue to serve God.

At the beginning of this chapter, Queen Jezebel sends a messenger to Elijah, declaring that she is going to kill him the very next day.  And so Elijah is on the run, he is scared for his life, he is beaten down and exhausted.  He lays down in the wilderness and he asks God to take his life, he is ready to die.  But God has other plans, and God sends an angel with food and water, and God sends Elijah forward to Horeb, the mountain of God.  And there, at that mountain, the very same place that God appeared to Moses, God appears to Elijah, as well.

“What are you doing here, Elijah?” God asks.  And Elijah responds with a bitter, whiny, frustrated monologue, full of fear and self-righteousness.  And so God says, “Stand on the mountain, for I am about to pass by.”  And Elijah stands and he beholds the very presence of God.  And again God asks, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”  And again, Elijah responds with that very same bitter, whiny, fearful monologue.  But God does not give up on Elijah.  Instead, God presents a plan.  “Go forward, Elijah,” God answers, “Do my work, and remember, you are not alone.”  And so Elijah moved forward, despite his fear, his anger, and his bitterness.  He courageously goes forward to do the work of God, even though he had really wanted to give up.

Elijah and Peter are both incredibly important figures in the Biblical narrative.  Peter is the rock upon which Jesus will build his church, and Elijah is one of the most important prophets in the Hebrew scriptures.  And they are both fear-floppers.  They both do courageous things, and then they get afraid, and retreat.  And then they do something courageous again, and then they get afraid, and then they retreat.  And then they do something courageous again.  And mostly, they just move forward, despite their fear, and follow God, even when it is terrifying.  Despite their fears, they both choose courage.

God didn’t give up on Peter.  Even when Peter was afraid, even when Peter denied Christ.  God didn’t give up on Elijah.  Even when Elijah asked to die, even when Elijah launched a bitter and whiny tirade.  God worked in and through both of these men, in order to change the world for the better.

Do you have any similarities to Peter?  Do you ever jump right in, only to discover that you are terrified?  Do you ever deny things that are true, because you are afraid to be totally honest?  Do you ever let fear overwhelm you, and pull you under the waves?

Do you have any similarities to Elijah?  Do you ever give into bitterness and resentment?  Do you ever whine, just a little bit?  Do you ever succumb to self-righteous indignation?  Do you ever hide in a cave, ready to just give up?

Do you have any similarities to Kate?  Have you ever stood up and spoke the truth, knowing it would bring you pain?  Have you ever stepped out of the boat and faced the waves, knowing that you could be sucked under?  Have you ever just stood in faith, and trusted God to pull you through?

We are all brave, and we are all afraid.  We are all imperfect.  And yet Jesus says to us, “You of little faith, do not be afraid.”  Our little faith is enough.  All we have to do is move forward.  All we have to do is step out of the boat.  All we have to do is leave the cave.  All we have to do is stand up in a meeting, and tell the truth, and call others to live in love.  It is hard, certainly, it is horribly difficult.  But God calls us out into the crashing waves, and God promises a hand to hold us up.

Today, after church, we will have a congregational meeting.  And I expect it will be far less tense than that congregational meeting, at a different church, in a different time, when tension and anxiety filled the room.  In fact, it is my hope and expectation, that we will let faith and courage be our guiding forces.  It is my hope and expectation, that we will listen to the words of Jesus, “Do not be afraid.”  It is my hope and expectation that we will celebrate generous giving, knowing that when we offer what we have, we are acting in courage and faith.

Kate stepped up in a meeting, and she changed the momentum from exclusion to radical welcome and love.  Peter stepped out of a boat, and he changed the momentum from terror to worship.  Elijah left the cave, and he changed the momentum from persecution to liberation.  Where are we called to stand?  Where are we called to leave the boat?  Where are we called to depart the cave?

Let us gain the courage to know that God can use us, despite our fears, despite our flaws, when we take that next step, when we live, and give, in faith.  Because even a little faith can go a long, long way, and a tiny step can begin a courageous journey.  Amen.