June 17, 2007  Edgewood United Church UCC Rev. Karen E. Gale

Admitting When We’re Wrong
1 Kings 21:1-21
Galatians 2:15-21

I’m sorry, I was wrong. I admit it.

These are some of the hardest words to say in the English language.

I was wrong. I did the wrong thing. I made a mistake.

A couple of months ago Bob Rentschler set up an “apology table” in the social hall since at the time it seemed so many public figures were publicly apologizing: Don Imus for his remarks about the Rutgers women’s basketball team, the actor on Grey’s Anatomy for his homophobic name calling, senators tripping over themselves to explain their mistaken voting on the Iraq war.

But I think this is the exception not the rule. How often do we, as individuals, as the church, as a nation, admit we are wrong? It is a difficult thing.

A man went to the doctor with a concern about his wife. “My wife has lost her hearing,” he said. The doctor said, “ok, I want you to try this test” and told the man what to do.

The man went home and saw that his wife was fixing dinner. He stood all the way across the room from her and said, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”  There was no response.

He then went and stood five feet from her and asked again, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Again there was no response. “Aha”, thought the man. “I knew she wasn’t hearing me.”

Then the man went up and stood right next to his wife and asked again, “Honey what’s for dinner?”

And his wife replied, “for the third time, it’s meatloaf!”

It’s so hard to admit when we are wrong.

Admitting when we are wrong comes up again and again in all facets of our lives: as a nation, as the church, as individuals.

Recently there has been a lot of media coverage around the Innocence Project which seeks to set free those people who have been wrongly convicted of crimes they did not commit. The project uses DNA and other forensic tools that were not available or reliable when the trials occurred. In the past week a man named Larry Peterson was highlighted on National Public Radio. Peterson served 18 years for the rape and murder of Jacqueline Harrison in 1989, a crime he did not commit.

The key witness, Robert Elder, finally recanted his testimony in 2006. Elder said that back in 1989 the police described the crime just outside the interrogation room, and left the door open so he could hear them. When the officers came back, he said, he repeated their words back to them and threw in some fictitious details of his own. Elder now says that he felt as if his hands were tied: "I had no choice but to live with it." (npr.org)

And so Elder said nothing. It is so hard to admit we are wrong even when a man’s freedom hangs in the balance.

Now Larry Peterson is seeking restitution. He wants his name removed from the criminal records system as no one will hire him right now. And he wants financial recompense for the 18 years he spent in jail, years where he could not earn money, save for a pension, or get established in a career. His case is bogged down again in the courts as Peterson struggles just to make ends meet. No one will hire an ex con, even one wrongly convicted.

As a nation we struggle mightily to admit we are wrong, whether it involves WMD’s in Iraq, or our treatment of prisoners at Guatanamo Bay.

Our scripture reading from I Kings also presents the situation of a nation, a ruler of a nation, having trouble admitting when he is wrong. Ahab is the king of Israel. Now Ahab is described early in the book as "more evil in the eyes of the LORD than any of those before him." (16:30) Not a good guy. But Ahab does struggle with how to live a faithful life. As king of Israel his role is to live as a model of faithfulness to God, to uphold the Jewish faith.

However, in making a political marriage alliance, Ahab "married Jezebel the daughter of Ethbaal king of the Sidonians, and began to serve Baal and worship him." (I Kings 16:31) I bet all of you have an image of what a Jezebel is. Well here she is in the flesh. And she is formidable. Ahab is as worried about what his wife thinks and feels and he is about what Elijah and the Lord say to him. Truly we are watching struggles within an interfaith marriage.

However, our scripture from today lays out a situation, that, at least on the surface, seems to be clear in its morality.  Ahab wants a new vegetable garden and the piece of land he wants belongs to Naboth who has a vineyard on it. Ahab tries to bargain for it and Naboth refuses.

“Seemingly oblivious to monetary loss or gain, Naboth suddenly brought God into the equation. Naboth could not sell the land because it could not be priced. It was not a mere article of commerce, but an "inheritance" of Naboth's fathers. Naboth could not negotiate with Ahab because Naboth understood that sacred things were not the subject of commerce.”( John R. Vile, David and Ahab, Clinton and Nixon: Contemporary Lessons From Two Biblical Stories)

Ahab is unhappy with the conversation so he goes home and sulks. Isn’t that a great picture, the sulking king. But this is important, Ahab sulks because he knows Naboth is right. By the commandments of God, Naboth’s land truly isn’t for sale.

But to Jezebel this is incomprehensible. What do you mean you can’t have the land? Aren’t you king? And she, tired of Ahab’s moping around after his vegetable garden, arranges to fix the problem. This “fix” involves two people bearing false witness against Naboth and he is killed (sounds a bit like the Peterson case doesn’t it.)

The land then goes to the king. Problem solved.  Except then Elijah shows up. And Ahab takes one look at Elijah the prophet of God and says, “have you found me O my enemy?”

And Elijah tells Ahab what God will do. I gave edited version for reading while the children and youth were here but what the text actually says is that “in the place where dogs licked up the blood of Naboth, dogs will also lick up your blood. Anyone belonging to Ahab who ides in the city the dogs shall eat. And anyone of his who dies in the open country the birds will eat.” This would be consider sacrilege and the ultimate in devastation.

But Ahab does not admit he is wrong. Even though from his actions we can see that he knows. In the political world there is so much cover up and very few admissions of mistakes. Whether it is the political firings of US attorneys currently in our news or Wm. Jeffers in Louisiana taking bribes, denial is the name of the game. Napoleon Bonaparte once said, “In politics... never retreat, never retract... never admit a mistake.”

It is hard to admit we are wrong.

Sometimes we do things that are wrong while fully understanding that we are making unfaithful choices. But sometimes we do things with the best intentions and then realize what a terrible mistake was made.

The islands of Hawaii have many, many UCC churches. That is because the congregational missionary societies in the eastern states sent missionaries to bring the gospel to the Hawaiians, what they thought was their imperative to save the heathen and bring folks to Christ saving them from damnation. The missionaries did very well. They did convert the islands to Christianity. But in the midst of that contributed to the overthrow of the monarchy, the spread of disease, and the seeds of the destruction of Hawaiian culture. And some missionaries, or children of missionaries, got quite rich as well.

Several years ago, the UCC president and other officials from our denomination went to Hawaii on an important visit. They worshipped in the Hawaiian churches and, in several solemn ceremonies, apologized for the missionary effort that brought so much destruction to the islands. Then the UCC gave back all the land that the UCC churches are on to the Hawaiian people.

We as a denomination admitted we were wrong. Even though our ancestors had the best intentions. But we understand things differently now. The choices made then are not what we would choose now. Things change. We were wrong and over time have come to understand that with more clarity. Or as my favorite theological quote says, “There is yet more light and truth to break forth from God’s holy word.”

Paul’s letter to the Galatians deals with a community trying to come to grips with what were right practices in the new Christian church. Folks had learned from infancy not to associate with people outside their religious group, family group or social group. Those who were Jewish were not to be in the presence of those who were pagan. Pagans did not eat with Jews. Those who were wealthy did not associate with the poor. Families were only very carefully mixed. Then comes the message of Jesus about inclusivity. In the fledgling church all the rules change. There is confusion and worry about what is the right thing to do.

In today’s scripture Paul writes to the community at Galatea and gently chastises them for their returning to ways of exclusion and separateness. Of course Paul himself starts out by dividing folks into Jews by birth and Gentile sinners. Perhaps he needs to listen to his own message first. But then, once he has his audience on his side, he zings them saying “we know that a person is justified not by the works of law but through faith in Jesus Christ.”  Now it is beyond the scope of this sermon to wrestle with justification, a complex theological concept, but we see that Paul is telling Cephas “look, perhaps you were born into one particular group but that does not make a difference now since you have decided to follow Jesus.” Cephas whom we assume is Jewish in heritage by context and by his name, had been eating with gentiles in the growing church community. He was embracing the ethos of the new church—all will be one in the name of Jesus. Then folks from James come and convince him that this openness is wrong and he withdraws whether from personal conviction or political pressure we do not know.

That is when Paul steps in saying, “You can’t embrace the new life of Jesus and hold onto rules of exclusion” Paul will do this over and over again throughout his letters when folks balk at sitting down with former pagans, with prostitutes, and with those in the Roman army. There is a new understanding which has come with the life and message of Jesus. Things are different now. And ways that were followed before, even understood as ordained by God, are changing.

But it is difficult to admit we are wrong. Especially in the face of those who pressure us to keep to old ideas. But why is it so hard to admit we are wrong?

It is hard to admit we are wrong because we fear people will throw our mistakes back in our face. We fear losing pride or losing face. In admitting we are wrong we become vultnerable and find we often need to make amends. It is also hard to realize the damage we did at that time.

I think we are also afraid of looking ignorant so we get invested in protecting ourselves even when we lose out as a result.

When I graduated from seminary I had a small party. At the party conversation turned to talking about a hymn that we sang, a hymn that was unfamiliar to me at the time called “Lift Ev’ry Voice and Sing”. We talked about how the language of the hymn seemed strange to us—the talk of the blood of the slaughtered and other violent images. We didn’t understand it.

And then one woman said to us, don’t you know the history of that hymn. And she explained its significamnce to African Americans and about the hymns recognition of the wounds of slavery and the struggle in the civil rights movement.

We all listened and then just sat in shamed silence. I could have admitted that I didn’t know that history and asked more questions. We could have had a great discussion. But we didn’t because I was unable to admit that I was wrong in my assumptions and ignorance.

Another reason I think we have trouble admitting being wrong is that we can be very afraid of a damning God who is keeping track of our every sin and will call us to account.

If we admit we are wrong we are afraid someone will yell at us, that God will yell at us, instead of hearing God speak tenderly to us saying I accept your apology and I still love you, I will always love you.

It is in many ways admitting we are wrong is a spiritual practice. Admitting we are wrong affirms our belief that we worship a God who loves us and will always forgive us and continue to love us. Admitting we are wrong involves making changes within ourselves in order to follow God’s imperative of love in the world.

Also, the consequences of not admitting we are wrong can be deadly. Not because God will smite us or the dogs will lick up our blood, but because we can damage the rest of our life. We can damage our very souls.

I want to take us back to case of Larry Peterson, the man imprisoned unjustly for 18 years for a murder he didn’t commit. “The murdered woman’s sister, Patricia, did not receive the news of the overturn of Peterson’s case well. ‘For her, justice had been served in 1989, with Peterson's conviction. Despite the DNA results and Elder's recantation, she still believes Peterson raped and murdered her sister.’

"’If I had my way, Mr. Peterson would be dead," Harrison says. "At minimum, he would be still in Trenton State [Prison].’" (npr.org)

Even in the face of overwhelming evidence and the confession of the man who witnessed improperly against Peterson, the sister cannot let it go, cannot admit that they were wrong about Peterson. She wants him dead.

To carry around that much hate, that much anger, that much hurt, that one cannot turn from the path of vengeance even in the face of new light, new facts, is one example of the cost of not admitting when we are wrong. I grieve for this woman even as I am horrified by her statements. But to live in the place where she is, to be in that much pain, is soul killing.

But I believe there is a much more important reason to admit when we are wrong and move on. I spent this past weekend at the Michigan UCC annual meeting in Grand Rapids. The preacher for our worship services was Rev. Dr Greg Mobley a professor from Andover Newton, the UCC seminary in Boston. The theme of the meeting was prophetic integrity---taking a hard look at how we speak out and how we are called to stand between God and the people of God and mediate that distance to bring about justice and peace.

Mobley was preaching about how we can get so caught up in the ways in which we have failed. We can get so bogged down in our guilt. We can be paralyzed by our fears of how we have let ourselves, others and God down. We fear to face the ways in which we have been wrong. He affirmed that grace is about the fact that we are forgiven. God loves us then and now.

And the Mobley said, and this was the kicker, that God needs us. Now.  We don’t have the luxury of sitting around feeling bad about the past. God needs us now. It is selfish of us to stay in the place of guilt. We are needed. Urgently. Love calls us forth now. To serve now. To be Jesus’ hands and feet and heart now. If we are perseverating over how unworthy, how compromised or guilty we are, we cannot do that essential work, the work of our call as God’s people. The imperative of love calls us to admit we are wrong and move on.

So, I challenge you to dig deep into yourself and admit where you are wrong: admit it to your family members, to your church. Write your government officials challenging them to do the same.

And then, move on. Let go. Know that you will make mistakes again. It is inevitable. But the God of love will always hold you in love. God needs you to move on, and move out into a world that needs your voice and your care.  Amen.